Tonight I am going out to celebrate New Years and throwing in an extra birthday celebration too. I am really really excited. I don't get to go that often doing what I plan on doing tonight. I may or may not hit a club. I actually kinda hate clubs. Elbow to elbow is NOT my cup of tea but I just want to have fun so I am going to actually go out to dinner with friends then afterwards the sky is the limit as they say. Trouble is I can't decide where to go. haha We'll figure it out.

So after the new year I need to get my drawing pencils out again and start working on this drawing I had put on the back burner. I procrastinate but one reason for it isn't pure laziness. It's fear. What you say? haha Well I don't want to mess it up! I want it to be just right. It has to be perfect. I won't settle for less so sometimes I just let it sit and I *think* about what I need to do to it for a long time.

I am doing my very first commemorative portrait of a little boy. He was hit by a car when he was 11 and I am good friends with his mom. I wanted to do this for her and I really know I can do it right. It's just....kind of a stressful thought. You can't mess something like this up you know? I've posted some drawings on my other blog but not too sure I have here. I'll have to sometime....if you are all interested. haha ;)

I took just a few pics of my birthday yesterday. I took a couple before I left the house and one when we went out. I had a really good birthday. I was good and spoiled. I ate at a Japanese Steakhouse. It was amazing! My hubby made me a birthday cake. It was so sweet. Enjoy the pics!

Yes, today is the day. It is my birthday. I am 33 years old today. The hubby and I are going out to a movie and dinner. On New Year's Eve we are going out with a huge group of friends for some food, drinks and partying. We'll probably get home the next day. I cannot wait!!! I am kinda eager to just let loose. I have endured a lot of stress lately and I really need a release. I'll make sure I post pics. I hope everyone else has a wonderful New Year as well. I got some great gifts for my birthday. I am about to download some stuff on iTunes with my gift card. I had never gotten a gift card like this before. I am really loving it!

I said when I made this blog I would talk about anything and everything. Sex is not something I feel grown women or men should be afraid to talk about. Especially if you are married but yet it is one of those subjects that causes so many to blush. I'll say this. I have been married for a long time. Sex is something you need to keep fresh and new. Those fluttery feelings can fade after a long time. Honestly I feel passionate love making is the best kind there is. I personally like make up sex so much I want to have a fight just so we can do it! OK. Maybe I don't pick fights but it makes it so much more romantic, passionate and full of love that it is just better. I think in a long term relationship you really need to do things to let your partner know they are still number one to you. Kisses when not asked and not just a peck either. I am talking come up to them and full on make out! I think the results can often be surprising. Hugs. Hugs are so important though you may not think so. I have learned a little butterfly pat on the back is not acceptable. A giant squeeze however is just right. I hate the bad rap women get after they are married. Maybe having kids and raising them lowers our libido. We are sorry about that but maybe if the men would come in and not just want *sex* but show TONS of love and passion then our libido would come running back. I can say from experience it does indeed come back. Just be patient!!! :)

My birthday is in 2 days. I am going out on New Year's Eve to celebrate my birthday that night along with New Years. Having your birthday between Christmas and New Years really kinda sucks. I hate to say it. It does. No one has money for the first thing. So you usually get no presents until well into January and February when it no longer even feels like your birthday. No one wants to go out and party on your birthday because New Year's Eve is just a couple of days away. No one wants to do a major celebration twice in a few days time. So my birthday is often kinda blah. The hubby has done a good job of helping me to have a good time in the past couple of years. Last year was nothing special. I was still sick, going through radiation (see my other blog if you want details) so I didn't go out or anything. This year though I am going out. I am going to have a great time celebrating this birthday. I really earned this one. I am so anxious!!!

You Were Meant For Me

For some reason I cannot embed myspace videos here. Hmmmm oh well. There is the link for whoever is curious.

Yes we got our ice storm last night. I posted pictures on my other blog. I have a beautiful dog named Sasha who enjoys this weather. I try to get her to come in but she wants to stay out and play in it. I don't know how. Her water dish freezes in literally an hour. I keep refilling it for her. I forced her to come in last night. It was horrible with the freezing rain and all. She is however a snow dog, or Siberian Husky so I guess she is made for this weather. I adopted her from PAWS a few years ago. She's made a great addition to our family.

Yes I tend to talk about shopping a lot but really this is only an update from a previous post. I promised pics of the purple and pink shirts I bought. Identical but I just LOVED them. So here they are.

I'm pretty anxious for Christmas. I still need to finish up the shopping. I think I'll finish up a few Christmas cards today too. (eep) Yes I haven't finished those either. I think I'm a tiny bit of a procrastinator. Oh alright I know I am! It's my worst problem. I need to join a rehab program for procrastinators.


*chuckle*

I went to the mall this past weekend. It was a nightmare. I try to be courteous to others. I stop at intersections (between clothes racks), I let people pass in front of me. I smile at crying babies, I try to be understanding. This is my personality. I have found many others do not do the same. Ok. You don't have to smile at a crying baby. Especially if you have none it's probably MORE annoying but once you are the one carrying that baby you get more sympathetic. Regardless, I went into Aeropostle because of a 70% off sale. Seriously. That's awesome so I wanted to check it out. It was a huge mistake. Apparently everyone in the next 5 counties also found it awesome because that store was packed. People walked into me, rushed in front of me, and otherwise made me feel like I was in a mosh pit. People, I am JUST shopping. I don't want to get knocked down. The line was at least 30 to 45 minutes long so I backtracked out of that store so fast you could barely see me. I won't be doing that again any time soon. Maybe at 1:00 during the middle of the week but NEVER again on the weekend. *Phew*

The past few weeks have been pretty much awful ones for me. Very few weeks, or days of my life really can compare in well, how much they stunk. I needed to get away. Sometimes I just think of those Calgon commercials and wish it could come true! It's a whole lot of things but basically everything just mounted up until my head was ready to explode. I'm an optimistic person. I really am. I try to always find the good in people and I try to hope for the best in all things. I am a cup half full type person. The last few weeks have tested that belief strongly but I'm hoping I am coming out of it still with my optimism in tact. I mean, even if I am wrong in hoping, living a life without hope is just a waste in my opinion. I'd rather hope in vain than to not hope at all. Well, I think so anyway.

I went and watched a few local bands this past weekend. My brother in law is in the band and I just love them. I had a good time. Still hubby and I cut out early and went to get something to eat. I had a Pecan Pie Cappuccino and let me tell you fellow sweet toothers, it was awesome!!! I finished it and before I even had my food I was feeling extremely stuffed. Then she put another one down in front of me! Free refills. I think I exploded at just the site. I ate maybe 3 or 5 bites of my sandwich, a few fries and was near bursting so I stopped. It was fun and nice to get away with the hubby though because we certainly do need it on occasion!

I did plenty today. I bought a cell phone for my daughter. It's pink and I am jealous. Did you guess that about me? I love pink. I know there are the women who are super anti-pink. I have reasons for being a fan. First of all, I am very girly. I can't help it. I love shopping, I love shoes, I love fake fingernails (though I don't have them now) and I love clothes, etc. I love getting my hair done. I love being pampered. And well, frankly pink looks best on my skin tone. haha Every time I wear it I feel as though my skin looks brighter, my face looks fresher, I look less aged. Now on the other hand if I wear Orange tones, not as good for me. I think because I am so pale. Regardless I bought a cell phone. It was a huge huge move for me. I know most kids do have cell phones these days and I thought it was time. She's got about 2 inches and 3 pounds to go before we are the same size...and she is 11. haha It's going to be odd looking up to her in a probably just a year's time!

Well, I love to shop. Let's put that out there right up front. I don't have as much money as I'd like to shop as much as I'd like so when I do it, I do it right. haha No I don't blow tons of money on myself. I search for sales. It's half the fun! I like to buy shoes. I like to buy clothes and coats, jackets even food! I love going out to eat probably more than just about anything. I may not look like it, but I love food. Yum!!! I got out the past two days and was finally able to enjoy a little bit of shopping. I stopped at a local mall and bought myself a fluffy white coat. I like watching movies with the soft fluffy white snow. This coat reminded me of that. I look like I'm just ready for winter. I saw these hot hot shoes that I'd desperately love to have. But I must save money for Christmas so that will be a luxury that has to wait. I want my kids to have the best Christmas ever so I really just bought necessary items, such as the coat and two long sleeve shirts that are gorgeous in my colors, purple and pink. :) I'll post a pic of me in those when I get one. For now here is the coat, what you can see of it...and I had to take a pic of me trying on the shoes!!

Do you ever feel like you are targeted? I have so been feeling that lately. I don't want to make this a therapy session and start going into all the things I have endured in a lifetime. Not all bad, but certainly not all good. It's just odd because it's like frequently strange things. I think maybe we all feel that way. Do you ever say "I should write a book!" haha I actually am. I need to get cracking though because I started it and haven't went further.

My point? Well, combined with the things you read on my other blog I have just had many things happen. I was kind of stressed out yesterday. I left my house to pick up my kids from school. Now, we live in a fairly small area. It's not really a high crime area. Kids are pretty good here. I like it. So, when I was pulling out of the gradeschool parking lot and saw two young boys around maybe 14 packing snowballs I didn't really think much of it until one of them stared at me coming. I just thought to myself...no way. Seriously....no way. It's already been a stressful day. So when I drove by and heard the deafening thud on the side of my car I knew he had indeed pelted me with a hard packed snowball. That kid picked on the wrong woman though because I immediately picked up my cell phone and called the police. He's lucky I didn't stop my car and go kick his little butt though.

Well I did that contest last Friday. Friday is here again so I went Random.org and put in all the links to those blogs who entered my contest. And the winner is:

When you are a stay at home mom you can sometimes lose track of the days. Or maybe we all do that I don't know. I really didn't want to be a stay at home mom anymore. I was done with it. I spent 2 years back at college. I am going to be an oncology nurse for those that are curious. I had to take a break due to unexpected pregnancy and cancer. A lot of my readers know this, because of my other blog. Anyway the baby is now one and it's so heavily on my mind that I want to get things done. I was honor roll in college and honestly it felt good. It's not like I coasted through with easy classes. I am talking Chemistry, Microbiology, Anatomy and Physiology. I took all those courses and loved them. Eeek. I never thought I could but I did and I do. I guess I had never had enough faith in myself that I could do it but I got there and it challenged me and I loved it. I really did. I miss it. I am so ready to go back that every bone in my body aches. I want to go back and be me again. I am so ready to just be Sandi again. I am a mom too and it's the most important job in the world to me. Still, I am anxious to get out and experience the world just a bit more. I got married at 19 and had my first baby by 21 years of age. It takes a toll on a person which is why I will always tell my daughters to wait on marriage and to get their college degrees first. I think it's important. I just say this from experience. You have to know you can be independent first. That's knowledge that really is just priceless.

I read my blog posts recently on here and the other and ugh. I can tell I've had a bad week. Hopefully things will look better from here on out. Really I am a very optimistic person despite trials I have had to endure throughout life. I swear I could write the most depressing country song EVER. I try not to dwell or it will eat me alive. I think it's the reason I like blogging so much. It's a great outlet. I am trying to get things done today. The snow has pretty much frozen to the ground. Well, it warms up during the day, melts a bit and at night turns into a regular ice skating rink. I am a little bit of a klutz so I have to be extra careful.

I finally bought myself a pair of shoes this week. I went to Burlington Coat Factory. They have great shoes. I seriously drool over the hot stilettos and boots. I love love love sexy boots. I love heels. I am a shorty so I love getting a little extra height. I needed something to wear for winter. I never really wear tennis shoes. I am much more of a sandal girl but the snow forced me to get something warmer. I got picked on a couple of times for wearing my pink Victoria's Secret flip flops when it was cold outside...but no snow of course. I looked at all the shoes in the adult section at Burlington but none I liked had my size so I ended up looking in the kids section. I can conveniently wear a size 4 in kids. So I bought a cute pair of Sketchers. Now I am officially styling. If the snow gets too deep I'll dig out my cute boots.

Who knew I could do a whole paragraph on shoes.

Honestly I have lost track of time. The kids have been on Thanksgiving vacation. It snowed so bad last night. It was the first real snow here. I went to get some groceries. I probably shouldn't have. On the way home I saw a terrible accident. It looked like it was a head on collision. I came up on it. There was debris all over the road. There was a car in the left lane facing the wrong way with no lights on of any kind. There was a badly mangled truck in the right hand ditch. On the left there was another car. In front of all that was a SUV that was also badly mangled. We pulled through because 911 was on it's way and we had to get out of the way. I saw a man in the white truck moving his arm. I pray he was ok.

Needless to say it's been a pretty interesting week. Snow days were called everywhere but here so we braved the weather. I wonder what tomorrow may bring.

It's kinda depressing but a good friend of the family passed away last week. He was older but a good friend. Him and his wife found my wedding dress for me YEARS ago. They came across this vintage gown and I loved it. I knew it was for me and it fit perfectly. What are the chances of that?? haha They also gave us their washer and dryer set TWICE over the years. I have loved them and now he has passed on, in his 80's but he will be missed.

I am not able to attend the funeral since we have no babysitter today. Seems this kind of thing happens all too often. I need a regular babysiter I am thinking instead of just my mother. It's hard when you have so many rugrats.

Now onto happier thoughts. My brother in law has a gig tonight and I want to go. I am in desperate need of going out and letting off some steam. It's been a downright awful week. I want to go out and forget everything. I just need it. My mother is at a wedding 2 hours away. I am praying and hoping that she'll get back by 9 or even 10. haha I am not picky. I just want to go out. Cross your fingers for me!!!

I don't have a TON of traffic here yet but I am working on it. With the style of layout I chose I can pretty much put links at the top where you see it advertised. I decided to offer up a link to someone else's site up there. Just reply to this post with your website address. Since today is Friday, I'll wait until next Friday and then randomly select one of those websites and post their link for a month on my blog. :) I drop 300 entrecard a day so it drives traffic here. I have my other blog too that also brings traffic this way. So, I'm going to give this a try. I can't promise a ton of traffic to your site but hey, it's worth a shot!

So finally Thanksgiving has come and gone. I did not go to ONE sale today. I was tempted with all the wonderful ads on TV for things on sale. Honestly cash flow is nonexistent for me though. Our money is gone as soon as it gets here. Gone on bills and groceries and gas. I want some extra but it's just not happening. If I hadn't gone and gotten so sick for a year I'd be working already or at least close to done with clinicals. Instead I put my application in for my college of nursing and get to BEGIN in fall of 2010. I have decided I still want to pursue that career but I need to get a job in the mean time. The trouble is, who takes the kids to school? Who picks them up? Who watches the baby? How does THAT get paid for and will it be worth it? I won't earn a paycheck only to have it entirely forked over to a babysitter and for gas in my car to GET to the job in the first place. It seems pretty pointless.

Before kids I worked for a local newspaper. Ahhhh those were the days. haha I typed up the stories. I put them together. Back in those days we had these large boards we would tape the little sections down on, rearrange, etc. Then my boss would take it over to the printers to be printed. I edited the paper and even had my own history story I did weekly. Seeing my name in print under a story was such a wonderful feeling. I gave it all up to be a mom and frankly I miss it. I want to work. Luckily I'm good with computers. I just finished taking a college course too that involved all of Microsoft Office. Excel and spreadsheets, blah blah. It may not be super exciting but I can do it. That is what counts. I am anxious to get back out there but so many other factors do have to be considered.

I'll leave you with a really funny typo from my newspaper days. It *almost* made it into the paper but was caught in time thank god. We were doing a story that involved the phrase "busy women". Unfortunately it was typed out "busty women". Yes....we were all laughing pretty hard because that came VERY close to going to print.

Well I need to go out and get some groceries tonight for Thanksgiving. Nope I haven't gotten a thing. I just haven't had any cash. It sucks pretty much living paycheck to paycheck but at least the bills are paid. Well, the ones that count. haha I have more medical bills than I'll ever realistically be able to pay. I try though.

Anyway I want to cook a turkey and I realized it takes like 2 to 3 days to thaw out a turkey and I haven't even bought one yet. Perhaps the microwave can help? Any chefs have some tips for me buying a last minute turkey?

I am not sure what I'm doing today but I'm considering taking a break from both blogs. I have been working really hard and since tomorrow is a holiday. Why not? Who is going out and braving Black Friday? *insert creepy horror movie music*

Good luck to those who are doing it!!!

Now, I am born and raised American. I haven't so much as flown in an airplane...stepped on foreign soil, nothing. I am your typical Midwest person. I don't even know how old I was until it dawned on me that just because WE are having Thanksgiving, it doesn't mean everyone does. I love how kids grow up and these things start to dawn on them.

Yes, it's Thanksgiving on Thursday. I'll be having family over. I am going to make a turkey. I'll make stuffing and this yummy looking double layer pumpkin pie. I am no chef but I can cook. I can follow a recipe pretty well. I tend to read ahead though. I have to stop myself. I am looking forward to left overs as well. There is nothing quite like some left over turkey.

Speaking of turkeys...I saw that video of Sara Palin pardoning a turkey while one was being slaughtered right behind her. Come on. Even if SHE didn't see this didn't the reporter? Didn't the camera man for crying out loud? Didn't THEY think about how stupid that would look? Ugh. I wanted to puke. How stupid. Stupid on the part of all of those involved. I mean, no one wants to see that. That guy in the back looked so dumb stuffing that turkey's head into some machine while he smiled into the camera. I'd like to think they all knew better. I mean, come on. Anyway if you have not seen this video and do not want to witness the suffering of a poor turkey, well don't watch it. I eat meat. I am not a vegetarian but even I felt sorry for that poor turkey!!!

I sing pretty much anything I like as long as my voice can do it. I like country. I like rock. I like it all really. I love Pink, Miranda Lambert, Faith Hill, Alanis Morisette, Michelle Branch, Jewel...oh there are so many. Here is me singing a song called Kerosene by Miranda Lambert. I may have posted this one on my other blog at some point, not sure. I have several other songs on youtube though. A little browsing goes a long way. ;)

Yes, I have done NO Christmas shopping yet. I guess I've been waiting for a paycheck that didn't vanish before it was actually deposited into my account. Seriously I have automatic bill payments setup and more often than not there is nothing left before it really is even in there. It's not good. I need to buy Christmas presents. My kids will be the only ones enjoying gifts this year from me. That alone will be difficult. This year is a tough one for all. The economic crisis is affecting this holiday hard I'm thinking. I know everyone I have talked to is wondering how they'll buy presents and admitting it will be a much smaller Christmas than usual. I have done pretty much all I can do to raise money for gifts. I am at a loss as to what else I can do. I comfort myself in knowing everyone is having the same issues. I am not alone in this and at least I know that the hubby's job is secure.

I had been going back to college in 2005 to 2007. I am pursuing a degree in Nursing. I am really excited about it. After I got sick (refer to my other blog) I had to take a break. I couldn't do anything for at least a year. I want to finish my two prerequisites online. I think I can handle a little algebra and psychology online. I actually love the classroom setting but I don't want to leave the little one too soon. I need to send in my application to this college of nursing that's local. It costs me $50 to just send in the app. Not to mention I need transcripts from TWO separate colleges I attended. Last time I had to pay like $5.00 to get those. Grrrr. They also made me come in and sign for it at one school. I can't have that happen again. I am 2 hours away from one college now. It's all such a pain and if I get in? It's for the fall of 2010. I have to get the application in before February. I should get moving on that.

So...since my blog is in it's early stages and really unless you've been following my old blog, you don't know a lot about me. My name is Sandi. I'm 32...for awhile anyway. My birthday is coming up fast. I always say though since my 31st year was kind of a bust, it didn't really count, so by MY rules I'm turning 32 again. Ha! Yes I was sick and pregnant my 31st year. I am not going into a lot of detail on that but if you are curious check out my other blog, you'll find the link at the top of this page.

I am also an artist. I love to draw portraits mostly. I sing. I come from a family that loves to sing. I really enjoy it. My sister has a band and my brother in law has been in one for years. I would love to but it's never happened for me. My grandfather was the pastor of our church for 32 years before he passed away. I think growing up in church helped us develop our singing skills. I also crochet. I taught myself how to do it because I always wanted to know how. A few years ago I just said I was going to teach myself to do all the things I wanted to do. I bought a book to help me with my drawings, bought a book to teach me to crochet then taught myself to cross stitch too. I have a lot of hobbies basically. Shoot, even this laptop is a hobby. ha!

I thought I'd post a few pics...so you can get to know me. I personally think for having four kids (yes four) and especially having one that just turned one, I kept my body in pretty decent shape. I have a gorgeous sister. I have a full DJ/karaoke rig in my basement. I may occasionally post videos of me or my sis singing. Lots of the times those videos are in my basement though you'd never guess that. We have great parties/get togethers at my house. So here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure. haha

I'll post drawings tomorrow.

Maybe...if it doesn't get like the picture above. Still, it's hard to get me out there to do it. I'm a pretty mild, laid back kinda gal. I let others in front of me, and if someone was going for that last $20 Gameboy I'd probably let them have it. Hmmmm do people still buy Gameboys? I am probably out of the loop. I am sure there are a lot of new products out there now that are better. I have a Nintendo DS but I think it's outdated too. I enjoy playing SIMS. It's one of the few games that really holds my attention.

I have actually been really wanting to get a new flat screen TV. I need one for my living room. OK. I don't need one. I want one. If I could find a SUPER awesome deal on the Friday after Thanksgiving I just might brave it. I think the traffic is more frightening than the stores themselves. I just think of people pushing and shoving and cursing and yelling in line. Ugh. Is it worth it? Hmmm that's debatable. There will have to be some super good deals to get me out there. Still I might just stay home in my PJ's that day digging around in the fridge for leftovers. :)

Not only is it coming up on Christmas and New Years but my birthday as well. I never really cared for having a "Christmas Birthday". The main issue with it being everyone is broke and no one really cares. I am old enough now I suppose it shouldn't bother me. Still, as a child I used to get Christmas cards that said happy birthday in them. I would get a tin of those Christmas cookies that said "Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas." Oh and of course getting all my gifts wrapped in Santa paper. I know those who do not have a birthday on or near a holiday really wouldn't understand. Let's say though you have a birthday in July. How appropriate would it be for me to wrap your gift in Santa paper? Would you find that odd? Would you think I was cheap because I didn't bother to go out and buy a little roll of birthday paper? Those with December birthdays really feel no different. My birthday is December 29th. I do not even ask for or expect gifts. I just remember how awful I felt as a child. I promised if I had a kid whose birthday coincided with a holiday I would be sure to separate them somehow. It's important to a kid and honestly still slightly annoying as an adult. After all, they are different events. They are not the same celebration. It's not too hard to show you care by just wrapping it in some birthday paper.

I love Christmas ok. I always did. I always thought it was such a perfect holiday. I still do as far as the feeling of giving and opening your heart to others. Really though how much of that is there? I guess I have become just a little negative about the fact that if Christmas is such a time of giving how come people go into a store on Black Friday and fight over that last special toy their kid just HAS to have? Why do we yell and scream waiting in the checkout line when clearly we chose to go out shopping on this day and um, we all know the lines are terribly long on that day! Get over it really. Before I got married I worked at a department store. I worked the register and I was fast. I was good. I did my job and even trained others. Still on Black Friday the lines were just trailing from one end of the store to the other. You can only go so fast and let's face it, not every transaction will be perfect. There will be the occasional problem right? I could hear people in line insulting me. I could hear people being rude about the long wait. What do you expect? I'd like to know. It's been many many years since that day. I just feel the spirit of Christmas is lost in all the money spending and shopping. I just want to sit back with a cup of hot chocolate, a good book and no money worries!!

I've seen a lot of people do multiple blogs. So, here I am. On this blog I am not talking about my past illness. You want information on that, read my other blog. I need a home away from home. I can talk about anything here. From being a mother to just being a woman because after all, once we have kids we are not JUST mothers are we? I am so much more than that. I am going to be updating this reguarly and trying to add new things here. So, come on in...grab a cup of coffee, sit back and relax. I am sure I'll have plenty to gab about.