kZaMSEs8bhox1qeqgumRFj9Lymo Nothing Off Limits: Chronic Insomniac


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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Chronic Insomniac

I am a chronic insomniac. Until I was prescribed prednisone in 2004 I never had a single issue with insomnia. I fell asleep in the beginning credits trying to watch a movie. I started taking this for eczema that appeared on my eyelids. No I am not kidding. It was pretty horrible at the time. It would pop up out of nowhere. My eyes would swell. I had never had it anywhere before. The prednisone helped but while on it I had such insane energy. I couldn't sleep on it. It was great for that reason, however it was bad because after I stopped I still could not sleep. I called the doc and the nurse said it was impossible that it was still affecting me because it was out of my system by now. I worried it screwed with my internal clock or something. I would lie there in bed all night long. Not 2 hours or even 5 hours tossing and turning. I would close my eyes and reach a deep relaxation but never sleep. I also would itch a lot. My skin would drive me crazy. I had this fear built up inside of my stomach and it wouldn't go away. I think it became a cycle because still to this day I get that ball of fear when I think I might not sleep. If you get sleep and have no problems with it this would make no sense to you. Go several days being incapable of finding sleep and just laying there tortured, and you will understand.

I do wonder if the cancer played a part. It was the same time frame. I have tried hard to analyze how or why it happened. I only know the prednisone was the triggering factor. I tried Tylenol pm and eating foods that made me sleepy. I tried self hypnosis even. They sell CDs out there for it. I tried melatonin and everything under the sun. Nothing worked. I still laid there and honestly I started feeling like I was walking around in a dream. They say a lack of sleep is worse than smoking. I was at that point of desperation. I saw a sleep specialist and long story short I was put on Ambien. This saved my life. I do well with it, but if you are a sleep walker I definitely do NOT recommend it. I usually do not remember what I say or do when I take this. Luckily once I'm in bed I'm in bed. My husband will tell me things we talked about and I have no idea. However I sleep and I sleep well. It's amazing and has gotten me through these years. I have been able to occasionally fall asleep without it if I am not "trying" to fall asleep. My nerves definitely play a part. I know it. I got programmed to fear not sleeping. Anyway I need to see my doctor to get a refill. This is no problem except my only day with no class or clinical right now is Monday. They couldn't get me until December. That's fine. Usually they will refill my prescription for the time frame between the appointments. However when I went to pick it up (after a doctor call) it was not ready. I didn't sleep last night. I drove away thinking that the sleep specialist didn't even care nor think about the fact that I would be laying down to a sleepless night. My neck hurts, my back hurts and now I have called to see if the prescription is ready and it is not. I called the office and left a message. Still not ready. I am getting agitated and I wonder how a doctor who specializes in sleep can just allow a patient to suffer. If you know about sleeping pills you know they can cause rebound insomnia. They should be tapered off. Yet they showed no consideration for the fact that I had nothing. I went home empty handed. I'm beyond frustrated. I have homework to do. This is a very REAL problem for me. People think it's easy but when you feel you can no longer do something that should just happen naturally there is a problem.


The Constant Complainer said...

Sandi, what's going on! It's been a while. Sorry, I had shoulder surgery and was unable to move my arm for a few weeks. So I'm just trying to get caught up on some reading tonight. I hope this finds you more well-rested than when you wrote that and were worried about your sleep schedule.


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