kZaMSEs8bhox1qeqgumRFj9Lymo Nothing Off Limits: January 2010

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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Ready For a Margarita!!!

Ok well technically I had one yesterday with my lunch but I could go for 2 or 3 in one sitting. I need to relax. As I say that, I know I have a ton of work to do today. I have so much homework it's seeping out my ears. (ew) That's ok though. I don't mind so much. I have to figure out how to do some research and write some papers that are due within the month of February but I'll do it. No problem. I just have a multitude of things to finish. December of 2011 cannot possibly come fast enough.

I am ready for a night out with my girls. I have a feeling they are ready too. It's been a rough year. We need some relaxation. This involves a margarita in one hand and some booty shaking on the side!!!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Lady Sunday....No Wait. I Have HOMEWORK!

Ahhh yes. Homework. I have plenty to do. There is no more procrastinating or skimming. The stuff I read now is life or death. If I am to be a good nurse I will dedicate time and will read thoroughly. So wish me luck. I have several online assignments to do before BEFORE 11 p.m.

It's been icy and foggy around here lately. I have commented several times on how it feels like we live in Silent Hill now. If you have seen the movie you'll get it. Or if you've played the video game I suppose. It's warmed up a bit the past couple of days so the ice is melting. The danger has been falling ice. You never really think of that but the sharp icicles that form do have to come down eventually.

I am ready for summer.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Have a Problem With This Song

Now I liked her Tick Tock or however she spells it. I felt even in that song they did too much computerized stuff with her voice. It's like I can't really decide if she's good or not. If they do THIS much stuff to her voice, then maybe she's got something to hide? Why so much? You could never hope to do it karaoke style haha and how would she ever do this live without lip syncing? It's good club music. That's about it.

I have issues with the way they take people's voices and change them. I am getting to where I want to hear music without all that. I want to hear TRUE talent. Live stuff. Good stuff. Stuff that is NOT messed with. Know what I mean?

Sunday, January 17, 2010

So....Who Wants to Read My Books?



I start classes tomorrow. This stack is missing my Health Assessment book that I am reading right now...and the lab book that goes with it. Fun!!! I am SO nervous. Oh and on the top is a clicker thing. I use that in classes to select answers. Seriously.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Where's My Coffee?


I'm not much of a morning person. I pretty much don't like mornings. I wish I did. I believe it's good to get an early start to the day. It's hard to do with your eyes half closed and crusted over until around 10 a.m.

Here I sit though knowing that I need to be up. I have to crack open my Health Assessment book and get reading. I have 2 chapters I have to read BEFORE the first day of class. Things are going to be so different at this school but I am ready. I am ready for the idea of it all. I can't say I am ready for the reality of it! It's going to be really hard.

It's pretty exciting that I'll be graduating in December 2011. I guess I should point out that I believe my attempts at resolving the financial issues is working itself out! I have been trying everything I could to get the loans I needed for school. The last option I spoke of before seems now as though it's going to work. I am pretty excited. I am nervous too and hoping I don't get lost at the school. haha The school itself isn't the problem. It's the hospital behind it and the buildings behind that that I have lab in that I don't know very well.

I am sitting here with my coffee and my bowl of raisin bran. I am enjoying the last leisurely moments I will have for a very very long time!!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

What A Week

This weekend was my first weekend going "out" since my dad got really sick. Actually I hadn't been out in such a long time that I can't really remember the last time. I was ready and last night the hubby and I went out to eat. We had some good food. I had a couple of margaritas. The second I couldn't finish so the hubby helped out with that.

After that we headed back into our town and up to a local bar where there is frequently karaoke. Knowing me of course I had to sing a few tunes. I got up and sang some Carrie Underwood. I followed that up with some Nelly Furtado. Actually I think I did Nelly first. I sang Say It Right which is a fave of mine. I love doing Before He Cheats.

I had a good time. We went and did it again last night which is VERY rare for us but I needed to just be out. I need to get away from the house for awhile. I need to think of other things and try to enjoy life.

I want to take my girls to see Squeakuel. Every-time I spell that word it feels wrong. I always second guess myself on that word...."Squeakuel". Just doesn't look right. haha

I am sitting here, on my laptop. I got a message about that last post. Seems some people really hate those posts. Only one I have done here. I didn't mind. Why not? It's not like I was promoting porn or crack. haha

Have a great day all!

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Long Week and It's Only Half Over

I am tired. Not physically but mentally. I have had so much to do lately to try and get this school thing going. I posted on my other blog about how my college loans are not enough to pay for me to go to school. I am hoping with everything I have that I can somehow pay for this. I am short. I will still have a balance of $600 AFTER my loans go through. That doesn't include books, lab coats, scrubs, supplies and daycare, etc.

I am stressed. This has to happen. All my goals have been for this. I got accepted and now I have no idea what to do. It's a really long story. What it comes down to was we made too much money so I qualify for less. The problem is we didn't really make THAT much. We had borrowed some money for the down payment on our house which was included as income. We took two large pay cuts last year so our income is a good chunk LESS than what they think we make.

It makes no difference. They are basing it off the large income....and there is nothing I can do about it. I have one final hope. We'll see what happens. Not sure if it will work or not, but it's all I have. Keep your fingers crossed.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Only One Thing I feel Like Saying Today

*AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!*



That about covers it.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

My Sisters



I have always loved being from a large family. Not everyone in the family has always been the nicest of people, but the good ones more than make up for the less than kind ones. You're going to have a wide variety of people in a family so large. We are a family of so much diversity too.

Some of them are the most devout, holy Baptists you'll ever meet. Which by the way, I think is great. There are some that are kind of in the middle....and then there are those that hate religion with a passion. They have learned to hate it, I guess after years of being in the family and possibly just not getting it. I am not sure. I think it's healthy to ask questions but I don't so much get being angry about it. To each his own though.

One thing that has always meant a lot to me though, are my sisters. More than any time in my life I need them now. They are the ones who "get" me losing my dad and how hard it is. We all had our own relationship with my dad. I feared my dad in a respectful way. I didn't argue with him. He was dad. I took what he said to heart, not always agreeing with it, but I would surely tell him I did! My sister Cindi however, who is a couple of years younger than me, was just like him. If she disagreed with him she told him. I think he actually liked that in her. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, but she didn't back down and they had a good relationship because of it. I think my older sister Donna was more like me I think....but not totally. My baby sister Vanessa....well she was the baby. Spoiled rotten! haha She is now 22 and will always be my dad's baby. She got her way as the youngest often does. That was her relationship with dad. I love the way we all had our own thing with him.

I have another sister, Aimee, who doesn't have the same dad. She did love him however in her own way and was very saddened by his passing. She came to the visitation. I was glad to have her there for me and my big sister Donna, who is also Aimee's sister.

Now we have each other. I know we are all grieving in our own way but I find myself needing my sister's more than ever. It's the only way I really feel my dad close to me. I like talking about him. I like telling stories. I like laughing and crying with them.

I am not close to my birth mom. There are reasons why, but I am just not. I really wish I could be. It's just not in the cards for us. So with the loss of my dad in some ways I felt orphaned. I have my step mom, don't get me wrong. I love her. She has always been my mother to me. There is that slight feeling though, that if she remarries, is she still my step mom? My dad MADE us the family we were....and now...I am left confused.

Well, to those who read my blog I am sorry for the HUGE amount of sadness and depression I have been pouring out...and there is more likely to come. I will work through this however. I know that I will. I am resilient I think. However for the time being, I need to grieve. However long that takes is just fine with me.

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